Monday, June 25, 2007

Stinky Green and Paris in the Sprung

It’s been far too long since I scribbled on this, my patch of virtual virality but here I am now so back in yer box, as they say.

Back to Blighty and back to a veritable downpour of deluges: the oft-dreamed of drizzle has started to become almost as tedious as the perpetual sunshine and when I’m beginning to feel like it might be my fault that this summer has yet to materialise. I apologise, just in case, but would like to point out that upper-atmospheric goings on are outside my remit.

The garland of partisanship that dangles round the Great British public’s neck for the proper noun that is The Wimbledon Fortnight (for which non-capitalisation is, ironically, a capital offence and punishable by hanging) already looks bedraggled: paper flowers don’t do well in the rain - they just go limp and lose their colour, much like the hopes of the nation especially now Mr Murray has had to pull out. Wouldn’t it be hilarious if Tiger Tim (hear him roar ... ) pulled one out the bag and actually won: an instant knighthood, methinks, bestowed on court and almost certainly an instant fatwa care of the losing finalist’s countrymen.

Two-n-a-bit weeks into my return to green and pleasantness and it doesn’t actually feel like I ever went away ... little has changed but so much has. The uncertainty that stalked my pre-departure days has been replaced by a cynicism that has taken me a little by surprise although not anyone else it would seem! I don’t think I was deluded when I went out but perhaps I was self-deluded in my delusion that I wasn’t deluded.

With the benefit of a brain and body that have been chilled to a more sensible temperature and with the benefit of x thousand miles between me and there, as well as the chance to air my thoughts and feelings past people who aren’t so close to the woods as to have the bark pattern imprinted on their faces and squirrels taking up residence in their nostrils, I sometimes feel like I’m missing something.

“Anything can be made better by rubbing money on it”; thus spake if not the prophet then someone with a fairly astute take on the human condition. Money: the great panacea that salves our collective conscience and makes the patient feel like we’re on their side. Is it just me or is there something wrong there? Is it wrong that I disagree with the kind of development that involves throwing money at something and hoping it’ll sort itself out? I could rant and rave til I’m bluer than I already am ... if you want to discuss further, let me know and I’ll save the ranting for then.

Talking of Paris (and reminded of Milan) and comparing both with Edinburgh I have noticed, with some disappointment, quite how sterile the centre of the capital of Scottish culture is: how immaculately clean the streets are and how undaubed the walls. I know that in the less salubrious areas, where children are weaned onto a diet of saturated fats, nicotine and aerosol spray, graffiti is what gives the concrete its character but there does seem to be a distinct lack of what I like to call the Rrrr factor. Street art has its place and without it it's almost too quiet.

Compare, if you will, Paris:







Edinburgh:



I don’t know what it means, but Edinburgh feels like a show home whereas Paris feels lived in. Edinburgh still smells of paint and varnish and the bed is too tidily made to have been slept in. Paris smells of last night’s pizza and the bed is barely discernible from the detritus of life that is scattered around it.

Some would say I had too much time on my hands ... and they’re probably right.

It’s time to go and light the barbecue. If it starts to rain, I take full responsibility.

Monday, June 04, 2007

A well got goat.

Here I sit, 4 days from skipping this peculiar country for a couple of month's respite, light drizzle and products of porcine origin. It would be fair to say that I can't wait although there is an element of disappointment.

I'd planned on being here until 2009 with perhaps a sanity break back to temperate climes in the summer of '08 but the peculiar timing of my arrival and the lack of gainful employment of either body or mind since then have forced me to take drastic action. I considered hanging around and seeing the country but the rains are a-comin which means that all those bits I want to see are the wrong side of inaccessible, and what's more the VSO salary, hefty as it is for the simple home life I lead, doesn't stretch to even the most spartan of hostelries, especially once you factor in travel and sustenance. There isn't perhaps as much of me to sustain as there was in March but the Lockhart appetite is a voracious one as any one who has hosted one will atest.

And so I find myself tying up the ends that have worked their way loose over the last three months of mental and physical inertia, which basically means I'm not doing an awful lot apart from twiddling my now well developed thumbs and trying to summon the courage/willpower to clean my dust and insect ridden abode. A lizard of local make has recently moved in which does mean that the flies that insisted on using my house as a knocking shop and then promptly turning up their far too numeous toes, have been drastically reduced in number. The flip side of reduced insect 'life' is an upsurge in the amount of lizard poo one has to deal with; not a sentence I ever envisaged myself saying.

It's been a funny old three months that has seen the sheen of enthusiasm be rigorously buffed by the brillo pad of reality back to the base metal that makes up its all too common place core. Serious flaws have been exposed and flowers of rust are already blooming, but there's will and so there must, by default, be a way. Trying to overcome the hurdle that is 'folding stuff' and everyone who's in power's absolute obsession with it is going to take a man of greater stature than I, but at the same time there is hope. My director, for all his pontificating on life's greater questions, does have an almost violent aversion to corruption, but there is only so much he can do.



While the uniformed satraps that plague every move anyone makes in this country do their best to derail its stuttering development, there are good people out there trying to stick to the rules of life as the world sees them, but they are in a minority. Give a man a uniform and he'll want a little something on the side. You know things are bad when you have to bribe immigration officials to get an exit stamp.

Did I say bribe, I meant 'give a present to'; silly me, I must take more care over what I'm saying.

So much still awaits and there are so many opportunities that I'm looking forward to coming back and getting going. The previously mentioned penned letter received a response along the lines of 'tough, we've made up our minds' which was nice ... nice to know you're being supported in your decisions. Hey ho.

Sometimes it's like nailing jelly to a wall, othertimes it's even more infuriating and I haven't even started yet.

Sheesh!

The beast within needs appeasing; the voracious Lockhart appetite has stirred it's insatiable loins and is demanding a sacrifice. There's a man who sells a fine line in barbequed goat just along the road though don't think he's seen the map.






You may have noticed I've worked out how to add pictures ... gone are the days of the expansive monologue ... now you get visual sustenance too! Don't say I don't think of you!