I'm not going to lie; I am addicted to English. There's something about it which is so utterly, mind-bogglingly brilliant that I pity those poor souls upon whose cluttered brains I inflict myself in the vain hope of encouraging a similar amount of excitement.
Perpetual whingeing on their part as to the complicated, convoluted - and frequently ignored - grammar rules, of the third person 's', of the lack of any agreement and of the intricate but fascinating mysteries of the present perfect - they with their stri/uctured tongues, condemned to a life of unvolution where rules and words must be approved by bearded 'experts'*.
Their frustration is borne of jealousy of a language which does what it likes, without let or hindrance. It wanders hither, thither and whither it so wishes - rules are obeyed but they are simply the toys with which we play. A vocabulary between whose walls lie words from almost anywhere you can think of; the words themselves probably do little more than doff their hats to their progenitors but they're ours now and we'll do with them as we please.
It's an accepted maxim that 'you are what you eat' but I personally think you can tell a lot more about a people by what they say. Take for example the brilliant lunacy of the phrase "wouldn't say boo to a goose".
Has anyone you know, have known, knew, met, heard about, ever in your life, lives past or throughout the convoluted tracts of history ever actually said 'boo' to a goose?
"My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, Commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, Spooker of the Canada Goose , loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next ... "
"... we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our Island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender, and we shall say boo to their geese, even if, which I do not for a moment believe, this Island or a large part of it were subjugated and starving, then our Empire beyond the seas, armed and guarded by the British Fleet, would carry on the struggle, until, in God's good time, the New World, with all its power and might, steps forth to the rescue and the liberation of the Old."
Let's face it, it's hardly a great measure of courage. Then again, maybe it is.
New Year's Resolution #28: Say 'boo' to a goose
* expert /'ekspɜ:t/ n. ex- a has been; -spurt a drip under pressure